


The Storm in Her Mind (Firefly/Serenity)

by McKinney_Wylis



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKinney_Wylis/pseuds/McKinney_Wylis
Summary: by Terry WylisIt's been a long few months. He's lost friends and been wounded and discovered new things. But he never expected to learn just what goes on in her mind...
Relationships: Jayne Cobb/River Tam
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	The Storm in Her Mind (Firefly/Serenity)

**The Storm in Her Mind (Firefly/Serenity)**

Right peaceful. Quiet. For the first time in what felt like a month. Ordinarily he didn’t much care for peaceful. Like his Pops always said, life was too damn short to spend it sittin’ around. 

But after the battle they’d just been through, after the news of it and the Reavers, the ‘verse he thought he knew being turned inside out, then having to rebuild  _ Serenity  _ practically from scratch and bury two friends, a little peaceful sounded about perfect.

Jayne Cobb barely acknowledged the almost-gone-now pain in his shoulder as he picked up Boone, his third-favorite throwing knife, and licked the blade before putting it to the whetstone.

“You’re going to sever your tongue one day.”

He wasn’t startled. Or no more than his senses pinging as part of being on watch. He’d gotten used to River Tam fading in through the walls. Pretty much figured whatever he was doing either she was watching or she weren’t, so it really didn’t much matter. Long as she was quiet about it if she happened to be watching him alone in his bunk. Man’s room, man’s rules. He drew the blade across the stone, replying without looking directly at her. “Ain’t managed it yet. Just needs attention, is all.”

She didn’t answer more, just stood there, staring at his hands as he worked. He’d gotten used to that, too. Seemed the littlest things—boring things, really—calmed her so she wasn’t curled into a ball rocking and shaking and muttering nonsense. Though he’d noticed she didn’t go hang out in the engine room with Kaylee. Or spend much time up on the bridge when Mal was flying the ship. She’d stay up there by herself, keep the ship on course, but if Mal or Zoe were there she’d wander back to the lounge. Jayne got the impression she liked looking out at the stars, which just made it all the stranger she’d rather watch him sharpen a knife or clean a gun.

But it was late by ship’s time. Real late. He’d be asleep himself if he wasn’t on watch. He examined the edge of the blade so he wouldn’t spook her by asking. "Can’t sleep,  _ haizhe _ ? Nightmares still doggin’ you?"

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod, her hair down around her face. “Some.” Then she looked up and eyed him warily. "Did you just call me a jellyfish?"

_ Got a bitty smile there. _ They might not have been on sociable terms since…well, pretty much since she and her brother had showed up on the ship. But given she’d walked alone out into a whole army of Reavers—and taken them down, every last gorram one of them—when the rest of them were corralled and wounded and really on their last breath, she’d more than earned his respect as a fighter and a part of the crew. So if he could calm her down from her nightmares in return…

He pulled up his best grin and stayed focused on Boone. “Saw an old Earth-That-Was vid once on 'em. Seems they never found anything quite like ‘em out here. Right purty critters, graceful as a breeze, but real deadly you get in their way. I reckon that fits you about to a T. ‘Sides, your brother’d take a scalpel to me if’n I started callin’ you  _ mei-mei _ . Even if you do remind me of Mattie now ‘n’ again.”

“Your sister. She’s sick.” River settled next to him on the couch, lotus-style and facing him sideways so she wasn’t in the way of his knife-sharpening. And wasn’t it just odd he knew all that for certain as if she had spoken it right into his ear. “Simon could help. I know he could.”

He drew the knife across the stone again, and again, looking away from her now, focusing on his work. “I don’t know as your brother’s sense of crewmates extends quite that far where I’m concerned.” He shrugged off the knot forming in his gut. “Folks get sick. Out here on The Rim, they get sick a lot. Ain’t much to be done about it.” 

Gorram it, he wasn’t going to think on it. He did what he could. Sent money home so’s his family could keep a reasonably warm roof over their heads and at least some food in their bellies. He’d done a lot of things in the name of getting that money to home. 

Jayne shrugged again at the sudden itch crawling around his eyes. A lot of things his mother didn’t ever need to know about. Which was why he made it a point to not think on it.

“I’ll ask Simon to help.” Small, slim fingers rested on his arm, stilling his knife-sharpening. He was probably about to wear the blade right down to nothing anyway. “You’ve got good work now. Honest work. I think your mother would be proud of you.”

_ Gǎo máo?  _ The shock of her offering to intercede with her brother for him got lost as he stared at her. A sick, sort of slimy feeling tickled the back of his neck. He knew the captain and the doctor had a speculation she was some sort of Reader, but she’d never turned it directly on him before.

Her narrow shoulders lifted. “You were thinking it pretty loudly. And your mind’s quiet. Things come through clearer.”

“Quiet, huh?” He didn’t much care for his gut knotting up all over again waiting for the next sentence, so he figured he’d save her the trouble of a punchline. “You mean ‘cause I’m stupid.” He picked up a new knife and set it to the whetstone, shrugging her touch off his arm. If she could hear the off-color comments rolling through his mind, too gorram bad.

“You’re not stupid.” She sounded surprised. And looked it when he glared at her in disbelief. “I said quiet. You can do one thing at a time and not have ten more spinning in your mind. Just that tune you only hum inwardly. Most people’s minds are full of clutter. Little games and lists to do and silly stories and songs, tangled up with ghosts and regrets and memories and worry, and they all pile up and fall over each other and…” Her words trailed off into more he couldn’t make out.

He knew this scenario. He’d just watched her eyes go unfocused and her face a bit slack. Whether it was in her own head or his or the rest of the folk on the ship, she’d gotten lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions and couldn’t get back. Because the Alliance had made sure she couldn’t. He still dreamed about the conversation with Simon in the hospital on Ariel. What they’d done to her. And it turned into a nightmare of what he’d done to them. He'd spend the rest of his life paying off that particular debt.

Like right now. If she couldn’t push it aside, he’d do it for her. He set down his working, took her face in his hands the way he’d seen her brother do on occasion, and spoke hard over her murmuring. “ _ Haizhe _ . River. Hey.”

“…sad and lonely and angry like bees buzzing…”

“River.” He shook her ever so gently. “Hey, come on, come on back, girl.”

“…so lost and alone and the storms swirling around and pulling me down into nothing and nothing and nothing…” Tears tracked her cheeks now as she rocked in his hold. Her voice broke with either pain or despair. The shakes got worse, almost like she was having a fit of some sort. 

_ Well, hell.  _ He didn’t dare leave her to go get Simon. Or even to walk the ten steps over to the intercom. So he had two basic choices: slap her or kiss her. And he really didn’t want to hit her…again. 

Even light and gentle as he kept it, he’d expected a gasp, a push, and possibly one of those knives on the table buried in his gut. What he hadn’t expected was for her to kiss him  _ back _ .

And it weren’t just any kiss; maybe she’d done kissing before, or just read about it a lot, or maybe she was reading his memories, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and slid her tongue over his bottom lip and  _ Hǎo shén,  _ her fingers in his hair felt good!

But then it all faded away and he found himself standing on a barren, dark landscape with a cold wind whipping around, sleet stinging his face and bare arms. River lay curled up at his feet, shaking and crying. 

He flinched as a particularly large ice pellet left a welt on his bicep, and shivered in a fresh gust of frigid wind. Was this what it felt like when she got lost? Little thing like her?  _ Shénshèng de gǒu shǐ _ ! 

He scooped her up and held her tight to his chest, turning so’s his back took the brunt of the storm.  _ Don’t you worry. I’ve got you. You just settle right down, girl. It’s all right now. You just let ol’ Jayne take it while you rest.  _ Kneeling down, bowing over her, he braced against the onslaught and growled at the storm.  _ You ain’t having her. I won’t let you. _

The world came slowly into focus again and he realized they were still kissing, locked right up tight in each other, tongues dancing. He eased back, breathing hard, searching her face to try to tell if she was back. He’d apologize if she hadn’t really known what she was doing, but it sure‘s hell seemed like she did…

She curled up close in his lap, slim fingers tracing over his beard. “See? You’re not stupid at all. You knew just what to do.”

It took a minute for him to realize her lips hadn’t moved through any of that. He stared at her, that chill creeping up over his neck again.

She just smiled, still stroking his face, and this time he heard the words clearly inside his head.  _ I like resting in your arms, in your mind. You don’t chatter like the others. You focus on whatever you’re doing and you stay there. _

_ You’re talking at me in my head! _ Rate things were going his heart weren’t ever going to slow down…especially if she insisted on sliding the pads of her thumbs over his lips. The chill turned into a shiver of a different sort and he caught her hands in his so’s he could think clearly.  _ Can you hear me talk back at you? _

_ Mm-hm.  _ She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, cuddling closer like the house cat his mama’d kept.  _ And I can feel your heart beating in my chest and your blood flowing in my veins. What it feels like in a body so much taller than my own, the weight of your muscles and…other parts of you. I can feel your confusion and your attempt to not freak out over all this, and—  _ Her eyes widened as she stared up at him.  _ I… I can feel…  _

Holding her felt just too right, so he’d enjoy the moment. He crooked a finger under her chin. “What can you feel,  _ haizhe _ ?”

_ Simon explained it to you. At the hospital. What they did, what they took from me. How they stripped out my amygdala. Do you remember? _

He had to think back a moment for the particulars. “Yeah, that little gizmo in the brain, keeps emotions under control so’s it don’t make you crazy feeling everything at once. I do remember.”

_ I can feel…or more accurately, I can tap into…yours. _

Now that did take a minute to process. “Are you sayin’ kissing me—“ Well, now, that might be assuming too much. “—you bein’ in my head like this helps you not get lost?”

Now her smile went bright and a mischief he could feel in his gut danced in her dark eyes.  _ You telling the storm it couldn’t have me forged the connection. Kissing you is a bonus.  _ She drew him down again. 

He let the huff of laughter out through his nose, as his mouth was busy.  _ Ain’t I a little old for you, haizhe? _

_ I’m nineteen. I’m pretty sure you haven’t quite hit thirty-five. And Shepherd Book always said it’s not the years but the miles.  _

The doc was going to kill him. If Mal didn’t do it first. But damned if she didn’t have a point. He supposed he’d just have to enjoy his last moments. And there weren’t much better way than this.

***

END

[but open for continuation if the mood ever strikes]

  
  
  
  
  
  



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